How to Write a Sentence Rewriting for Political Science
Political science writing often suffers from 'academic bloat' due to the dense nature of institutional theory and international relations jargon. Rewriting sentences in this field requires more than just editing; it demands a precise balance between theoretical abstraction and empirical clarity to ensure your causal arguments are unmistakable.
What Is a Sentence Rewriting in Political Science?
In political science, sentence rewriting is the process of distilling complex institutional mechanisms or normative arguments into their most potent form. Unlike general creative writing, it focuses on clarifying the 'actor-action-object' relationship to show exactly who holds power and how that power is exercised within a defined political framework.
Before You Start
- Identify your independent and dependent variables to ensure the causal link remains intact during the rewrite.
- Verify the specific definitions of contested terms, such as 'sovereignty' or 'populism,' used in your original draft.
- Determine if the sentence is describing an empirical observation (quantitative) or a normative claim (theoretical).
- Check your citation requirements (APSA style) to ensure parenthetical references don't disrupt the new flow.
Isolate the Political Actor
Identify the primary agent of the sentence—whether it is a state, an institution, or an individual—and make them the grammatical subject to avoid 'floating' power dynamics.
Example: Original: 'The implementation of austerity was forced by the IMF.' Rewritten: 'The IMF compelled the state to implement austerity measures.'
Tip: Avoid using 'it is' or 'there are' when you can attribute an action directly to a political entity like the UN Security Council.
Clarify Causal Mechanisms
Replace vague verbs with precise terms that describe how one political phenomenon leads to another, focusing on the 'how' of the political process.
Example: Original: 'Economic inequality has an effect on democratic stability.' Rewritten: 'Economic inequality erodes democratic stability by polarizing the electorate.'
Tip: Use verbs like 'precipitates,' 'mediates,' or 'constrains' instead of 'affects' or 'influences.'
Eliminate Nominalizations
Political scientists often turn verbs into nouns (e.g., 'democratization'), which hides the action. Turn these back into verbs to show political movement.
Example: Original: 'The democratization of the regime occurred slowly.' Rewritten: 'The regime democratized slowly.'
Tip: Scan for words ending in -tion or -ment and try to convert them into active verbs.
Precision in Institutional Terminology
Ensure that your rewrite uses the specific technical term required by the subfield, such as 'parliamentary' vs 'presidential' systems, rather than generic descriptors.
Example: Original: 'The way the government is set up makes it hard to pass laws.' Rewritten: 'The separation of powers in the presidential system creates legislative gridlock.'
Tip: Consult the Oxford Handbook of Political Science if you are unsure if a term is a specific concept or a general description.
Reduce Passive Voice in Policy Analysis
Passive voice often obscures who is responsible for a policy. Rewriting into active voice clarifies political accountability.
Example: Original: 'Human rights violations were reported in the region.' Rewritten: 'Local NGOs reported that the military junta violated human rights in the region.'
Tip: If you cannot name the actor performing the action, your sentence may be hiding a lack of evidence.
Refine Theoretical Abstractions
When discussing theories like Realism or Constructivism, rewrite sentences to link the abstract concept directly to its real-world application.
Example: Original: 'Realism says states want power.' Rewritten: 'Realist theory posits that states maximize power to survive within an anarchic international system.'
Tip: Always define the 'logic' behind a theory's claim during the rewrite.
Streamline Quantitative Findings
When rewriting results from a regression analysis, focus on the direction and significance of the relationship rather than listing every coefficient.
Example: Original: 'There was a p-value of 0.05 for the variable of education.' Rewritten: 'Higher education levels significantly increased the probability of voter turnout.'
Tip: Focus on the substantive significance of your data, not just the statistical significance.
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Try Yomu AI for FreeCommon Mistakes to Avoid
- Using 'the people' as a monolithic actor without specifying which demographic or interest group is involved.
- Overusing the word 'impact' as both a noun and a verb, which obscures the specific nature of political change.
- Failing to distinguish between 'state' (the institution) and 'nation' (the cultural group) during phrasing adjustments.
- Retaining 'weasel words' like 'arguably' or 'somewhat' which weaken the force of a political argument.
- Leaving 'this' or 'that' at the start of a sentence without a clarifying noun (e.g., 'This policy...' instead of just 'This...').
Pro Tips
- Read your sentence aloud to check if the 'logic of the argument' is clear to someone outside your specific subfield.
- Use the 'Paramedic Method' to cut down wordy sentences by circling all prepositions and deleting unnecessary ones.
- Check that your rewrite doesn't accidentally change a 'necessary condition' into a 'sufficient condition.'
- In International Relations papers, always specify the level of analysis (individual, state, or systemic) in your key sentences.
- Keep the subject and verb close together to help readers navigate complex sentences about legislative procedures.
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How do I rewrite a sentence to sound more objective in political science?
Focus on evidence-based verbs and remove emotive adjectives. Instead of saying 'The government's cruel policy,' rewrite it to 'The government's policy disproportionately marginalized low-income populations,' which shifts the focus to observable outcomes.
Can I use 'I' when rewriting my thesis statement in a politics paper?
While traditionalists prefer the third person, many modern political science journals allow 'I argue' to clarify the author's contribution. Check your specific professor's preference, but prioritize clarity above all.
How do I shorten a long sentence about international treaties?
Break the sentence into two: one describing the parties involved and the other describing the specific obligations or 'norms' established by the treaty. This prevents the reader from losing track of the legal requirements.
How do I rewrite jargon without losing the technical meaning?
Keep the core technical term (like 'Path Dependency') but rewrite the surrounding context to explain how that term functions in your specific case study. Never swap a technical term for a generic synonym if it changes the theoretical framework.
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